Check it out…

Check out this great blog:
Oak Park 365

Gaming in Oak Park, designed by my fiancee!!!! His picture, albeit a bit peculiar of one, is right on the front page! Woohoo! Special thanks to Chris LaFortune for giving Oak Park a bit of publicity that it deserves!

A touch of innocence…the Real World invades Washington DC…

So, as I have spent the holidays off and not really doing anything except wedding stuff, I should probably add a brief introduction into this blog before I go into my new focus. What’s my new focus you ask?

The Real World.

Not the “real” Real World, the television show. MTV hooked up with Bunim-Murray productions back in 1992 ( I know that might seem like ancient times for some of my readers) and started this process and is now I think in their 23rd season.  While I’ve been there since the beginning (Yes yes, the first new York season), I’ve got to admit that I can’t bring myself to give it up and walk away from it. Even while I suffered through Cancun (and that’s putting it gently), my take out Chinese doesn’t even do justice to the debauchery that these 20 somethings have gotten into in seasons from Las Vegas to Hawaii, to Seattle to Boston. In my ever continuing 30 something rebellion, I’ve got to admit my continued theory that those who consider themselves “rebels” in their teens and 20 somethings are just trying to re-make what we all did when we were in the 90s.

But, I digress. So, I’ve decided to start a new series in this blog. The Real World invasion of DC.  I’m not going to lie, I’m a 30 something juggernaut that has lived in the DC/Baltimore area my entire life. I have very real pre-conceived notions about the Real World, DC, and Baltimore in general. I’m not going to lie in wait and just hope that MTV figures out that they either are or are not right on these things. I don’t honestly care if they think I’m right or not, I’m merely a locals perspective of how things are going.

So, here goes. The first episode always encompasses the introductions, “oh I love the city” blah blah blah. The excitement of the cast coming to DC not withstanding, it was neat how they encompassed the city. The South Market, the Tidal Basin, Union Station, these are the norm that are seen in a different light when broadcast so broadly. They all flew into Reagan National Airport, which is expected, crossing the Key and Memorial Bridge, but in a shocker that I didn’t realize…

…there are local players in this version of our faithful Real World. Yes folks, not only is there someone from Baltimore, but there’s a guy from Philly as well. So, as the locals tell them what’s what…it will be interesting to see the perspective of someone that grew up so close yet so far away. Baltimore, especially the West Baltimore that Ty is from, is worlds away from Washington, same goes for the Philly that Josh is from. Both are now educated, fighting off the “mean” streets that Ty compares more to the “Wire” than to home.
There’s your token religion issue that arises very early in the 1st episode, and in a freak of nature, there’s a lot of boy/girl combinations in the rooms. While I can appreciate trying to be different, I was grateful to see Callie, the small town girl from Texas, and Erika, the rocker from the Windy City, *shout to Chi-town!* decided that their guy roommates were too much.

Then of course, and I’m sure that he’ll be happy to read this…there’s got to be said about Andrew. What a tool. His pictures are like at Metro Center. Hehehe. Denver suburbs must produce a lot of these freakterds around here. My repulsion for this guy is predominantly because there’s a lot of people that come to this town like this. The politically incorrect trying to be Bill Maher with a little bit of Ben Stein. Crazy.

So, stay tuned. The Real World invades DC will take place once a week.

Tales of a Wannabe Bride?

So, it’s been a while since I’ve posted on this blog. It has been busy since about May, since we got engaged. It’s been an interesting dynamic trying to plan this wedding. I feel like I need to make sure that I retitle this blog tales of a wannabe bride because in the end that’s what this is becoming. I’m tall and proud when it comes to my family, and his family dynamic is well….really different.
It’s largely because they have different priorities. They prioritize everything over family and it’s one of those things that I just can’t seem to get past. Its work over family. I’m just not used to it. Guess it’s something that just kind of happens a lot. But, wedding planning is progressing nicely, we’re working on getting bridesmaids dresses done, tuxes are chosen, I have a dress, a caterer, a reception hall, photographer, and a church. Now, I’ve got to pick a DJ, flowers, cake, you know it never ends.
Then of course there’s school. With the wedding approaching a lot quicker than I would like it too, I must admit that it’s an easy distraction. But, I’m not doing nearly as well as I should be doing largely because I’m distracted, busy, and well, busy. I feel like to a certain extent I’m doing too much and I need to sit down and pay attention, aka why I haven’t been writing this blog nearly as much as I should.
Thanksgiving was nice, and we hit the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland. It was a fun trip and that museum is way too much to see in one day. The interactive displays alone would take one day. U23D was out of this world and made me feel better for missing their show this year in DC. Bruce Springsteen had 2 entire floors, with the history and dynamic of rock and roll taking up a good entire basement of the pyramid building nestled right behind the Science Center and next to the new Browns Stadium.
Its cold up here in them there hills, a lot different than it is in Maryland where I’ll admit, we’re still waiting for winter to come. I’m happy to keep waiting so take that for what it is. I’m going to end up getting parking for the winter, it might not be worth the price, but if it will save me the trouble when the ice sets in, I’ll be happy.
It’s an interesting change from when I used to post all the time. I think I was trying to avoid the pain of real life and the true reality that my sweetheart isn’t here, and until I finish this PhD, he won’t be. We’re not likely to stay in the DC area, and that although depressing will be an interesting and dynamic change. For the both of us. He’s got a much harder road to hoe than I do for a full time position, so I guess it all just depends on how you want to deal with things. I’m dealing with rough stuff now he’ll be dealing with it later.
Ah well, flights boarding. Guess I need to get going. I’ll try my best to stay updated. I’ve been really bad with it recently because things are so busy and I’ll admit that NaBloPoMo basically passed with me not missing it too much. Guess times change.

Test Test…

More thoughts…about well…thoughts.

So, I forgot to parlay this last night when I was scribbling the post down and here we go you’ve lucked out and there’s two posts in a row.

I had a great conversation with a girlfriend the other day. It was odd because I didn’t want her to think that I was being overbearing but it came down to talking about her dating life. She started telling me of how she’s given up on marriage and doing okay with being alone. I didn’t quite understand why she had dismissed meeting people online.

It’s odd, I don’t quite know how to explain it, but I have met more of my favorite people online than anywhere else. My first love, my first kiss, my first…well, just about all my firsts were with people online. It wasn’t an obsession, it was a cure for me for whatever reason. When I had first met my first love, I gotta tell you it was something that was so tender, so sweet, that I still hold guys to that truth today. It’s a gentle balance between taking care of me and allowing me to be independent.

I have been thinking an awful lot anymore about my friends online, and I got to tell you it made my day today when another came out of this internet swarm to show back up into my life. It was nice, almost wonderful.

It’s been a while since I’ve allowed myself just to be happy. Just for shits and giggles.

Perhaps I need to try this.

Anxiety, Weddings, Romance

You know, when I sit down and write these at times, I don’t quite know what I’m going to say, so the fact that the title comes up more than not seems kind of crazy. What’s there to write if you mandate it by the title?
Do you remember that movie, “A Walk to Remember”? God it doesn’t matter if it’s mid afternoon or in the middle of the night if that movie is on I’ll sit down and watch it.

As I sat down and started watching it I started to think of things like this wedding, and everything else. I don’t know, it’s one of those things that you’re just sitting down and figure out how women versus men think..it goes back to the movie.

I miss that type of romance. I miss it a lot. It never ceases to amaze me that men start out different relationships that they are terribly romantic and go out of their way to make sure that you fall head over heels in love with them. Then, suddenly, it disappears. No more romantic phone calls, no more sweet words, no more nice emails, nothing. There’s such a feeling of loss at that point. Now that I’m planning this wedding by myself and the feeling of being alone is greater than ever.

It sucks. It’s like men feel like the work has somehow ended and they have the right to ignore you and just assume you’re going to be around.

It’s sad. I’m going through so much with this wedding. My mom asked me why I don’t want a full service for the wedding. How do you express to your mother that loves you and cherishes you that you don’t nearly have the stance in religion that she has? I never wanted the full service. I still don’t. I think that to a certain extent it takes away from what I want. I want to be able to dance with my soon to be husband on our wedding day.

There’s a lot of wants, that are all down to me.

Scary hmm?

XGames 3D: The Movie

Due to my ever increasing anxiety about my graduate career, I took sometime out last night to go see this movie. I have got to tell you, I watched XGames 14. The Summer Games, the Winter Games, it doesn’t matter when it comes to Action Sports, I’m stuck to the television. When I knew that this movie would only be in theatres for a week, I made it an imperative to go see it.

Shocked I was that I was the only one in the movie theater. Yes folks, I was it. I was also running about 10 minutes late, so missed the first part of the movie, which although I was slightly upset about, the rest of the movie did justice to me missing a small part of it. For the few steady readers I have of this blog, ya’ll know that I’ve been on crutches for a long time and the reason why I titled this blog what I did was largely because it’s the one place where I can sit down and be the skater, snowboarder, and surfer…even though I can’t do any of those things.

The clip expresses a good point that I think is imperative as to why the movie had such an impact on me despite seeing the footage already. These guys, from Travis Pastrana to Tony Hawk, Ryan Loza, Danny Way, Bob Bernquist, they all do the same thing, they say, “What if” the right way. What if you land it, do it, accomplish it. That failure isn’t a terrible thing. You get hurt, fine…get hurt. You get up, you brush yourself off, get the elbow, back, leg fixed and go back the next day and are ready for more.

I think in this graduate school journey, I’ve lost some of that. I have lost some of my don’t give a shit attitude. That failure is just an opportunity to learn more. I think what was so exciting about watching Ricky Carmichael in MotoX Step Up, was one thing that both him and Bob Bernquist said, “If you want something, and love it, there’s a push to go after it. Try it, practice it, there’s no can’t. Do it over and over and work damn hard at it. Don’t just expect it to come to you.”

I wonder so often if I am so used to having stuff just come to me. I did it through college, through high school. Now I’ve been presented with a challenge that I have never faced before, that no one I know in the true sense of knowing has ever experienced. I have allowed part of myself to be lost. I hate that. I get so frustrated that I have let one man control my entire existence. It’s annoying, not to mention stupid from someone who is far more hard headed than that.

Now all I have to do is figure out how to get back to where I was before I failed that test. Before I expected it to just “happen” and for the etherial “them” to just give me the PhD.

I want it back dammit.

For GH, an introspection on men and women and how we act together…

So, the other day, GH who writes a fabu blog over on the west side of the country was scribbling about his birthday, getting older, you know how it goes.

And I think that my exact comment was, “Women can’t handle you.”
Of course, he didn’t quite know what I meant, so I figured that I would scribble this down in the hopes of making myself more understood. Given that there are probably more than 3,000 miles between us this internet friendship needs to be fostered based on words…so hopefully I get this right.

What I meant by that statement was largely two fold.
1. I was told for years two things, a. That men find a smart women overwhelmingly intimidating. Same thing for if we know our sports. It’s like a guy thing. It’s hard to know what to say when a woman comes up to a man apparently, and knows more than them. But, in my defense, Mystery, the Pickup Artist extraordinaire stated that this only makes the male pick up artist’s work that much easier. Guess the rationale being that if I do the work for the guy, he can just sit back and relax. With that being said, I think sometimes when you’re just a bit too much for a woman, too smart, too straightforward, too aggressive, it does scare people away. My perspective of my buddy on the Westside is that he’s a rather introspective guy, deep in his own thoughts, and it often takes a lot for a woman, man, whomever to get to know him on a level worthwhile to investigating a relationship.

2. Sometimes when initially meeting either a woman or a man, initial impressions hold true throughout. It’s an odd situation, but let’s be honest…a good majority of the impression that you make on someone is based on the first 30 seconds that you see them. It’s an odd component. Take the other night. I went down to Little Havana with some girlfriends, the only and I mean the ONLY impression that I made on this fairly attractive man was based on the fact that I smiled at him when he walked in the door. He knew I was watching him all night, he was paying attention. I think however, this area is distinct. We have had a couple surveys done (both in Cosmo and Maxim) saying that the Baltimore/Washington D.C. area is the best area in the country to be single. The worst? You guessed it…LA. The reasons? I guess from what I’ve read, people in LA are very into how they look, how things look to other people.

My point? It’s can’t be the easiest place to live when you’re single. The more I spend watching people and chitchatting with both men and women the more I’m convinced that I should have gone into psychology. Ah well. I’d be interested to see what GH has to say about this. My entire point a lot of times, including the post-doc I met the other night who was, albeit with a beard, mildly attractive, I gotta tell you if you’re the person that you are regardless it will bode better for you than if you try and be the person that you envision the other wants. This I can actually speak from experience. I’m no Christy Brinkley, or even Zoe Deschanel, and have always had a chip on my shoulder for a health problem that I could never quite control. However, I’ve been doing okay in the dating scene, that now I’m engaged and happy as a clam.

How did that happen? I figured out one thing. I can’t fake it. I can’t make it up that I’m the person that particular man wants. I’m only the person that I am, I can’t change who I am, despite how hard I try.

That’s about it. By the way, I’m bad about editing, so sorry.

Good recognition, finally!

Better than Ezra, finally made it onto ABC News NOW!!!
Yay!!
ABC News Now

Still having it, Michael Vick, and moving on…

So, I initially really got knee deep back into this blog because my now fiancee was moving and I needed something to essentially take my mind off of him being so far away. Now that I have friends that are finishing their PhD’s (and are no longer wannabe graduate students, but actual legit docs); I’m starting to realize that a lot of what this blog means to me, is that everything that has ever been stuck in my brain is allowed a place to release, take flight, and say screw it.

Like my soon to be father in law, he doesn’t get it, it doesn’t make sense to him why have a blog, why write it all down? To me, in my mind, that seems like a real simpleton type view. That you’re just not complex enough to do things.

So, alas…my girl Kristen is moving. She’s a local like me, has lived here her entire life like me, she finished her PhD and is moving to Richmond. As much as I’m sad for her to go, the night will be and always has been very interesting when she’s involved. Tonight was no different. We went out to Little Havana tonight for some goofing off, drinking, looking cute, and hanging out. Cute guy rolls in with his buds and some chickies and I gotta tell you, for someone that’s engaged, he was hot. Like wicked hot. I figured giving the Orioles jersey that he was local, and just was gazing, looking, enjoying the art of being female. So, it’s funny…I never EVER had this kind of nerve when I was single. But, given the fact that I had two single friends I was like screw it, if he comes over I’ll hide the ring and talk to him.

Then I thought…the guy would be kinda pist about this. So, I was straight up, he was of course disappointed, but he also gave the vibe of trying just a tad too hard. I’m sure that he was bummed that he got the nerve to talk to a chick and she’s engaged, but I gotta tell you that it felt good that I got a cute guy not only to compliment me (which he of course ruined later) but to hit on one of my friends till of course he screwed it up.

I was proud of myself, I couldn’t help but think, “I still got it.”

Meanwhile, Michael Vick was signed by the Philadelphia Eagles. As much as I have grown up as one of the fans of the two best teams in football, the Washington Redskins and the Baltimore Ravens, I gotta tell you that the rumors of those teams signing him made a lump gather in my throat. I’m not a hard core animal activist, I eat meat, I’m not narly into it. But, I gotta tell you, when the whole dog killing thing came in, it like made my skin crawl. Denis Leary said it beautifully, “A guy that is cruel to dogs, should be put in a kennel, lie in his own sh*t and know what it feels like to have a collar with someone attacked to the other end pulling you from one end of the room to the other. And the motherf*cker should get wacked by a belt, or a hammer and see how it feels.”

So, I was leary, man I was leary when Pittsburgh was looking at him. It’s a hard struggle. I mean Pete Rose didn’t get another chance. Why does Michael Vick? He served his time? That’s crazy talk. Now, before you go knee deep into Ray Lewis, he was never convicted. Tried in the public or not, legally he’s not a criminal. Okay, so he obstructed justice. I obstruct justice by cockblocking cops from ticketing skateboarders. Craziness.

I’m feeling better about myself than I have in a while. I’m ok. Maybe work sucks, life here alone sucks, but who knows…it’s ok.