For those of you who read me often on this site, you know that I tend to well…let’s not lie, I complain a lot. Mostly about school, work, the lack of time to see my family, etc. Well, last night had a relatively interesting revelation to me.
I was talking to a friend of mine, I hadn’t heard from him in a while. He’s in Florida. Yes, we used to date. Yes, he’s the one I wrote about a long time ago whom after he got divorced he left me a plane ticket here at BWI…
You know it’s weird. He’s so messed up in the head sometimes, and it’s just odd. So, he was asking me about the bf last night, and I must admit, that I kind of giggled. Poor guy. He had 7 years with one woman that he now wants to throttle. Then he started in about the bf. Now, for him, what he did was marry the girl of his proverbial dreams a year after they started dating, because “why waste time”. Screw that I say. I asked him last night if he knew then what he knows now if he would have stayed with her. The answer was a complete heck no…except of course a lot more violent. My point of the entire evening was to say, “Until you see it, you don’t know.”
My thought, he’s bummed that he’s not in a situation that is happy. For me, as much as it would suck, it would be okay if the bf left tomorrow and never came back. I can’t say that I fault him for it, because I don’t. I would fault him for not telling me sooner, but that’s about it. I will miss this when it’s gone though. Terribly.
The brief time I was with the guy in question, he didn’t appreciate the time I was there, just what he needed to do next. For crying out loud, he hasn’t seen his parents in over a year because he refuses to fly up here because his dad’s scared to fly. My goodness, get on a plane already.
I miss being taken care of by my parents. I am terribly envious that my sister sees them some 4-5 times more a week than I do. Sometimes I don’t even see them. They make slim to no effort to come and see me, and I understand they have their lives, and schedules, that makes sense. With my recent car problems, I saw my dad more frequently, but he still spend a good amount of time with my sister, and I’ll admit it…I’m jealous. I hate it. They all rationalize it too, it’s because of the grandkids…
You have to make critical decisions in your life at times, and I worry that some are coming up for me soon, and I don’t know if I will be able to handle it. But, I will say one thing…I like to hear, “Hey Melinda, you’re doing okay. Don’t worry too much yet.” Instead, what I get, “Does that mean you’ll be in school LONGER?” It’s like there’s almost a conversation gap. Something lost in the translation.
My bf is taking about his defense more and more. It scares me. Now, I’m a fraidy cat incarnate anyway, but still.
But, like the song I heard last night said, “Why rush it?” Perhaps they’re right. The all knowing “they”.
The song said I’ll miss this time…I hope they’re right.