You know, when I first got on the internet in 1994, I got on a program called ircII. It was old, easy to work, and it was somewhere that I didn’t have to worry with the fact that I hardly had any friends my first semester of college. My 2nd semester, I was assaulted at school, and realized quickly that meeting men on the internet was probably not the brightest thing in the world that I did.
I met quite a few wonderful people that to this day I still talk to on IRC. They aren’t bad people, but I think we all had our separate reasons that brought us to IRC, and we all had our separate reasons as to why we left. I don’t remember what Craig, Steve and Ann, or Hinson are doing right now, but I truly hope that they are wonderful. I hope Steve and Ann are still together with children. It’s hard to say. I used to hang out with a bunch of people off a channel called #altmusic, and we got together every Christmas for the national tree lighting. The last time I went was in 2004, I had first started dating the bf, and I just wasn’t interested in being bitter, cynical, and angry anymore. It wasn’t something that I needed to do.
Fast forward to right before graduate work. I had been working for a woman that wasn’t a nice woman. I’ll admit that right off that we weren’t a good match. She needed someone subservient, and that wasn’t and still isn’t me. I’m not sad that she’s left the university. I needed a release because my girlfriends from work had gone home to England and Ireland respectively, and I wasn’t a full time graduate student yet, so I couldn’t necessarily come and go as I pleased. I turned to another social networking group, that was more about writing and learning and living with people that actually were pretty good.
I’ve been doing that now for a little less than two years, and although I have moved most of my stuff over here to wordpress, I must admit that it’s hard not to allow yourself to get absorbed in the drama. It was as if the program was a release for people like me that were going through major changes in their lives, and didn’t quite know what to do except write it all down.
I need a break. It’s hard not to get sucked into people’s dramas. People’s lives. I’m such a sensitive person, that sometimes if you catch me on a bad mood, PMSy or not, I will get upset. I will say mean hurtful things.
I know I’m not that person.
I know that I’m person that will live outside the life that she has in front of her. Regardless of the fact that my lab isn’t the easiest place in the world to be. Regardless of things changing so much. I need a break from the life on the internet. It’s almost too much for me.
Back to reality a little bit, the bf graduated and is officially a doctor.