Tales of a Wannabe Graduate School Dropout ~ Ponderings

Hola folks-

Here goes nothing…

1. Studying for a comprehensive exam is like cutting off your hand despite your fingers. You know you need to know it, you know you need to comprehend all this stuff that got you through classes, you just have no enthusiasm to do it right now. I will wholeheartedly admit that an enormous amount of this comes awfully easy to me, and all I really have to do is study the other stuff, but I want to make sure that I cover all of it, just in case. It’s hard to keep focused more than anything.

2. I find myself coming to the rescue to a lot of people recently, and I wonder sometimes if that’s just how I am. If I’m a “helper”. I think sometimes I straddle the fine line between that and being needy. On the flipside as well, I killed a bug in the apartment last night. Scared me, but I did do it. Silverfish…GROSS!!! Exterminator is my only hold out…and the cable guy.

3. My parents really came through for me yesterday. One free dinner and they come by and practically furnish my apartment, and they want to do my laundry! It’s as if I’m still at home. Hehehe, it’s not really that, head to number 7.

4. My sister called yesterday. They were right outside Rocky Mountain National Park. Apparently my 3 year old nephew said, “When are we going home Mommy?” I think they miss home. I am glad with everything that happened with Christen that they got away. I only hope that the boys are getting adjusted. I think it’s hard with them staying up so late that they don’t sleep the way that they are supposed to because they are out in the wilderness. I’m hoping when they get to Minneapolis (see post tarts, we can’t stay away!) that they will sleep again, given that they will be in beds and not in sleeping bags. I never realized how much I truly miss her. My sis and I don’t really spend too much time together, or a lot of time professing how much we need each other, but even if it’s just hi, we talk everyday. I told myself that I wouldn’t call them, that I’d let them call me. She said she was happy to hear my voice yesterday. On the Christen front, leads are drying up, makes me so sad. I think that it has pushed me to do more and to stay in school because of that.

5. After this entire episode, people are dropping out of my research department right and left. They aren’t “dropping” they are opting to get the masters instead of staying for the doctorate. I can’t figure out if it’s just because they don’t really know what they want, or that they didn’t know what they wanted until it was too late. I can’t quite tell if it’s youth, or indecision. It’s hard to come into grad work right after college. It’s you’ve done 12 years of school, than another 4 on top of that, and then you want to do another 4-6?

6. I saw a bunch of undergrad friends yesterday. It was, per the norm…interesting. I have rarely turned to my fraternity in graduate school, just because I always kind of hung out on the fringe. I wasn’t really good friends with anyone excluding my bf. I really care about people, but I made the conscious decision that I was going to do grad school for me, and get me where I wanted to go. It was weird though, it was always about bf. “He’s graduated, you’re following him right?”

WTF??? I don’t have a ring on my finger. I just don’t understand the old school concept that I’m supposed to walk away from my dreams and ambitions for the love of a man. Don’t get me wrong folks, I do love him, would have walked away from this stuff if he had asked, he didn’t ask! Regardless of what that means, I am of the knowledge that it means he has faith that I can get done in two more years…. it’s almost like he has more faith in me and in us than I do. So much for women’s lib I guess.

7. Speaking of women’s lib…must have been a slow news day, but I had to put this out there. Apparently there was a HR regulation in the dress code at a Wichita KS insurance firm that women had to wear panty hose to work. Now, I hate the stuff, but will wear it to weddings, etc. if I am forced either by my unshaven legs, or my pearly white legs. Either way, I wouldn’t work in a place where I was forced to wear something. Apparently panty hose purchases have dropped a whopping 80% since the mid-90s! I hate the stuff, figured that it was meant to be used by men…just sayin’.


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2 Responses to “Tales of a Wannabe Graduate School Dropout ~ Ponderings”

  1. geekhiker Says:

    Testing is the worst, isn’t it? I’m (trying) to study for a test right now, but the questions on the test have no relation to how things work in the real world, so it’s driving me a bit nuts.

    I agree with you on number 6: it’s not that you (or any woman) should have to give up your dreams for a guy. The way it’s supposed to work is that you support each other’s dreams. Never understood the old-school concept myself…

  2. tiffany Says:

    It was really great to see you! I loved the flowers and the berger cookies are sinful!

    Re: women’s lib… I think everyone was kinda confused as to where you were in life and didn’t know the details. But that’s what the blog is for, to catch up on the details right? We were all just curious! I hope we can hang out some more, even with the trials of grad school… 🙂 I’m getting pretty good at poker… if you ever want to head up to MaggieMoore’s/Lucy’s on a Monday night– I’ll be there.

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