So, I was trying to figure out what I was going to write about, and fell upon this. I had a friend that wrote that instead of writing a resolution each year (which I abhor) pick a word, be that word, than do that word, and you’ll than live that word. I started thinking of everything that has happened this year.
We lost my sis’s FIL to a terrible bout of cancer.
Bf graduated with a PhD in theoretical nuclear physics.
Bf got a job in Chicago.
We lost my sis’s SIL due to violence.
Bf moved to Chicago.
You find yourself in an interesting situation where there’s nothing you can do. If I could take away my families variety of illnesses, allergies, and diseases, and just be the sick one, for which the label has stuck for a while, I would.
I can’t. I can’t take the pain away as much as I would want to, I can’t take the hurt, anger, anxiety, and depression away for the various losses and struggles that our household has dealt with this year.
On the good side, work is going well (knock on wood please) and although I am not through my re-writes yet, I’m getting there, and the separation that I’m developing might actually come to fruition. I’m excited for the prospects of this method, excited for what’s next to come in my research. I have issues with not wanting to move forward, things aren’t going quick enough, can’t we do two steps in once…so I decided on my word for 2009.
I know a few people that have picked nouns, and I picked realistic for a couple reasons.
I need to be realistic in my own health care, and those of others.
I need to be realistic that Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither will this method.
I need to be realistic that as much as I would like people to cater to my every whim, I need to stand up, be an adult, and do it myself.
I need to be realistic that sometimes, I’m just not right.
I need to be realistic that despite not wanting to hurt people, I sometimes do.
I need to be realistic of the future.
I’m anxious for this year to be done and over, but on the same time, am still searching for that St. Nick feel.
Perhaps a trip to the 3400 block of 34th Street is in order.
Santa hat anyone?