As I meander my way through this world, it’s a wonder I have survived this long with the rough and tumble things that I put in front of myself to conquer.
For example, in a fit of internet stalking, I found my first love. That’s right ladies and gents. The very first one. He was actually really nice last night, and I was appreciative, but I’ve got to say…
…I’m kind of okay that he is starting to realize what a catch I was. Too bad it took like almost 15 years right?
Meanwhile, I’m starting realize some stuff about myself that isn’t the most fabulous. I’m not thrilled with it, but I’ve got to say that at least now I know. At least I’m starting to learn I do this.
In my everlasting search as to why in the world my crazy bf doesn’t want to marry me…
I’m starting to wonder if it’s just that I’m pushing. Guys will get to that position eventually, and if they don’t, we’re better off right? That’s what all the crazy magazines say. Hehehe. I mean talking with the ex via IM last night, I started to realize some stuff:
There are times that I’ll sleep through the late night phone call because I know I have crap in the morning and he doesn’t.
I’m not as considerate as I try to be.
I’m awful selfish.
Absolutely terrified that I’m going to end up alone. I just wonder when you figure out that you’re just set to be there and it’s over and just deal with it.
Hard to say.