Due to my ever increasing anxiety about my graduate career, I took sometime out last night to go see this movie. I have got to tell you, I watched XGames 14. The Summer Games, the Winter Games, it doesn’t matter when it comes to Action Sports, I’m stuck to the television. When I knew that this movie would only be in theatres for a week, I made it an imperative to go see it.
Shocked I was that I was the only one in the movie theater. Yes folks, I was it. I was also running about 10 minutes late, so missed the first part of the movie, which although I was slightly upset about, the rest of the movie did justice to me missing a small part of it. For the few steady readers I have of this blog, ya’ll know that I’ve been on crutches for a long time and the reason why I titled this blog what I did was largely because it’s the one place where I can sit down and be the skater, snowboarder, and surfer…even though I can’t do any of those things.
The clip expresses a good point that I think is imperative as to why the movie had such an impact on me despite seeing the footage already. These guys, from Travis Pastrana to Tony Hawk, Ryan Loza, Danny Way, Bob Bernquist, they all do the same thing, they say, “What if” the right way. What if you land it, do it, accomplish it. That failure isn’t a terrible thing. You get hurt, fine…get hurt. You get up, you brush yourself off, get the elbow, back, leg fixed and go back the next day and are ready for more.
I think in this graduate school journey, I’ve lost some of that. I have lost some of my don’t give a shit attitude. That failure is just an opportunity to learn more. I think what was so exciting about watching Ricky Carmichael in MotoX Step Up, was one thing that both him and Bob Bernquist said, “If you want something, and love it, there’s a push to go after it. Try it, practice it, there’s no can’t. Do it over and over and work damn hard at it. Don’t just expect it to come to you.”
I wonder so often if I am so used to having stuff just come to me. I did it through college, through high school. Now I’ve been presented with a challenge that I have never faced before, that no one I know in the true sense of knowing has ever experienced. I have allowed part of myself to be lost. I hate that. I get so frustrated that I have let one man control my entire existence. It’s annoying, not to mention stupid from someone who is far more hard headed than that.
Now all I have to do is figure out how to get back to where I was before I failed that test. Before I expected it to just “happen” and for the etherial “them” to just give me the PhD.
I want it back dammit.