Anxiety, Weddings, Romance

You know, when I sit down and write these at times, I don’t quite know what I’m going to say, so the fact that the title comes up more than not seems kind of crazy. What’s there to write if you mandate it by the title?
Do you remember that movie, “A Walk to Remember”? God it doesn’t matter if it’s mid afternoon or in the middle of the night if that movie is on I’ll sit down and watch it.

As I sat down and started watching it I started to think of things like this wedding, and everything else. I don’t know, it’s one of those things that you’re just sitting down and figure out how women versus men goes back to the movie.

I miss that type of romance. I miss it a lot. It never ceases to amaze me that men start out different relationships that they are terribly romantic and go out of their way to make sure that you fall head over heels in love with them. Then, suddenly, it disappears. No more romantic phone calls, no more sweet words, no more nice emails, nothing. There’s such a feeling of loss at that point. Now that I’m planning this wedding by myself and the feeling of being alone is greater than ever.

It sucks. It’s like men feel like the work has somehow ended and they have the right to ignore you and just assume you’re going to be around.

It’s sad. I’m going through so much with this wedding. My mom asked me why I don’t want a full service for the wedding. How do you express to your mother that loves you and cherishes you that you don’t nearly have the stance in religion that she has? I never wanted the full service. I still don’t. I think that to a certain extent it takes away from what I want. I want to be able to dance with my soon to be husband on our wedding day.

There’s a lot of wants, that are all down to me.

Scary hmm?


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3 Responses to “Anxiety, Weddings, Romance”

  1. geekhiker Says:

    There’s been a strange trend in the blogs I keep up with lately: people who are in love and/or getting married writing posts about how unhappy they are that things aren’t quite perfect. Every relationship evolves from the courtship stage to a more mundane state: I mean, how many guys have you ever heard complain about how he used to have sex all the time with his girl until they got married, then the sex life disappeared?

    As for myself, I don’t have enough experience, relationship-wise, to say. I do know that my Dad always bought flowers for my Mom on Back to School and Open House nights (much to the jealousy of the fellow teachers), so maybe that’s some indication.

    And, just a side note: if the romantic gestures really mean that much to you, and that you would like them to continue: TELL HIM.

  2. cripkitty Says:

    Ah can always count on you kiddo. Didn’t figure you as one to read smultzy postings like this that I write so late on a Sunday night. You said,
    “Every relationship evolves from the courtship stage to a more mundane state”

    Why is that okay? Why is it that society accepts that and is okay with not being romantic and not being fun and becoming mundane when you put a ring on some girls finger?

    Seems crazy to me.

    I did tell him btw. 🙂

  3. geekhiker Says:

    I don’t think “mundane” was the best choice of words, but I couldn’t think of anything better at the time. But ALL relationships, be they loving or friendships or whatever seem to evolve from that initial excitement of “wow, I can’t believe I met someone as amazing as you!” to a more comfortable, relaxed state. Sometimes that more comfortable, relaxed state doesn’t seem as exciting, but you know what they say about the candle burning twice as bright only lasting half as long.

    Besides, you’re talking to a guy who, the last time he met someone who thought he was amazing, proved to not even be worth a phone call when being blown off. So what the hell do I know?

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