Being given away, a new controversy for weddings?

Now, don’t get me wrong…I’m a feminist in my own right, but I have got to say the new Swedish church in my book has it all wrong.

Okay so here’s the story. It can be seen first here, as well as here, here, and here.

Essentially it’s this: The Princess of Sweden, her name is Victoria has requested to be given away by her father. The Crown Princess. The Swedish Church has long since forgotten this tradition which started out of medieval routes (my opinion not the actual truth) of having fathers give their daughters to wealthy neighbors, friends, the like. While I applaud the Swedish Church for long having a process where the bride and groom actually process down the aisle together (thereby showing the equality in the marriage), I’ve got to admit this entire controversy has left me in a bit of a quandry.

The Princess is taking lots of flack for it, being judged as catering to “American films and entertainment” while this also ruffles my feathers being the somewhat patriotic person that I am, I must admit a few things at this passing.

One, I’m all for individuality. I’m more OffBeatthan some, more traditional than others. The princess has decided to not stick to the status quo, to dedicate part of her day to her father, and is getting all kinds of crap for it. Does this make her offbeat because she’s going against the church to do things her own way? Maybe so. Is this really honoring her father or just making a statement that her groom is a “commoner” so these traditions don’t really matter. Once again, hard to say.

Second, I’m a true daddy’s girl. I’ll admit it. I am. While I respect the plethora of Swedish brides that have come before me, and that I’m not a Swedish bride, I’m just desperately trying to understand why in the world you wouldn’t want to give your father a place of honor. I guess to me, a foolish American, don’t quite see what the fuss is about. My dad, well let’s put it this way, even if I’m under the assumption that it might in passing hurt my father’s feelings? Maybe? It like kills me. I could not bring myself to disappoint him in that way.

So, I’m left with this feeling. Perhaps just like in the Jezebel article, I’m just an American that runs traditions the way that trick-or-treat is still said at Halloween. It doesn’t mean anything anymore.



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3 Responses to “Being given away, a new controversy for weddings?”

  1. Daybaye Says:

    I’m an American. I love my dad very much. There is also no way he’s giving me away on my wedding day, and if a man asked his permission to marry me, that man might not get to marry me. I’m giving myself away, and unless the groom’s mother walks down the aisle with him, it’s obvious that this particular tradition still does imply inequity in marriage. Do what you want at your own wedding, but at a marriage of a public figure in a country that has tried very hard to say that men and women have agency in getting married, I would put up a fuss, too.

  2. cripkitty Says:

    I’m just trying to provoke conversation here, so bear with me.

    So, if one of the Obama daughters asked her dad to accompany her down the aisle, and the man she wanted to marry asked permission…

    …you’d protest?

  3. geekhiker Says:


    First off, let me say this: people should get married however they want to. Who is anyone to stand in judgment of anyone else’s wedding plans? You know, unless it involves animal sacrifice or something really out of the norm like that.

    I’ve always thought that the father giving the daughter away was more for the father than the daughter. In most cases, fathers are very protective of their daughters, and “giving away” the daughter is symbolic of his trust in her future husband. Now, I realize that casts back to the idea that a woman requires “protection”, and that’s undeniably a sexist thought. On the other hand, I’ve known a lot of fathers who have no fear that their daughters can’t take care of themselves, but when pressed will admit to worrying about them nonetheless. That’s just what parents do. So, yeah, people should do whatever they wish, whatever makes them happy.

    And I extend that belief to the Princess in Sweden. Yes, she is a public figure, but I don’t agree that she should have to sacrifice what makes her happy on her wedding day at the altar of public opinion…

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