So, I typically like to lean this blog towards my goings-on which inevitably center around science, love, and sports. Occasionally, family woes. So, all I can say to that is a little Los Angeles Love goes along way. Along with some fun and being in the rage it looks as if Jezebel, which I normally regard as fairly cool and a women-centric publication decided to go loopy and all crazy like with this article and then this douzy talking just how torturic the wedding business *cough*monopoly*hack* truly is.
Now, I have been really good about keeping my wedding planning predominantly to myself for two reasons. 1. I like surprises, and figure that my guests will as well. 2. I don’t think people care. That’s right folks, I know that some people read this blog and some don’t…but no one wants to read about a tom-boy turned girlie-girl blather on about dresses, flowers, centerpieces, linens, and what not. What gets me the most however, is the truly audacious nature that the articles tend to go after the wedding racket and not see the forest for the trees. Perhaps, let me explain.
My sister did things her own way, and she wanted things traditional, homey, and family-oriented. Her reception was right down the street from my parents house, she got married in the church that we grew up in. I kind of wrinkled my nose at the idea of being married in a church anyway, and decided once I was engaged to go my own way. Do my own thing…to a certain extent.
Let it also be said, I’m very lucky. VERY is the affirmative word to this. VERY lucky that I have talented friends that will design and print my stationary for minimal cost. Centerpieces are going to be taken care of by a very talented family friend. I spend at least 20-30 minutes at OffBeat Bride and Indie Bride for a reason. I believe in what you’ve said. The wedding business is a racket. ESPECIALLY in New York where it’s a competition to be in the Times for your announcement. My in-laws actually said we should put our announcement in as part of the competition. How do you explain to people that I know you read the New York Times but you’re not in NY???
The point withstanding here is this: I walked away from the wedding racket for one reason…I wanted this to be a thought provoking fun adventurous party that people would walk in the room and say, “Wow this is M and P, this is so them.” I wanted people saying that the entire evening. And, they will. What disturbs me the most about these articles is that Jezebel is supposed to be inherently nurturing in the female persuasion. Female power and all. There’s no word of the thousands of us that abhor wedding “events” and walk away from “tradition” and “etiquette” in lieu of buying local, doing it ourselves, and making things truly unique. You’re not going to find that great local artist to do your veil and one of your “events” Jezebel. You’re going to find it on Etsy, and through word of mouth. That’s what Ariel’s Wedding Porn is all about.
I disagree with you Jezebel. Those of us out there that are throwing weddings, is it really about the money? No. In the end if there was a way to get our entire family and friends together in one place for one reason, we’d be all for it. This is about us, not about wedding “expos” here in the DC areas, they make me wanna vomit to be honest. I was dragged forcibly, kicking and screaming (which on crutches is hysterical btw), to one just to “get ideas” and wanted to take a gun to my head.
Those of us that haven’t had our weddings planned since we were six have walked away from the common establishment. We have driven the stake (or the proverbial crutch in my case) in the ground and said no, we’re not going to have it. We’re throwing a kick-ass party and calling it a day. The people that love us and love that we’re together are going to be there screaming “ROCK ON!” when my physicist fiancee comes out to “Pretty Fly for a White Guy”. More importantly, we’re skimping, scrapping, eating PB&J everyday to make it possible and not be a burden to anyone.
It’s a shame you’ve fallen into the trap of believing in the establishment we all can’t stand.
P.S. I’m going to send this to the author at: firstname.lastname@example.org
You should do the same.