Posts Tagged ‘love’

I was going to write about baseball today…but a little wedding issue arose that had to be taken care of…

April 13, 2010

So, I typically like to lean this blog towards my goings-on which inevitably center around science, love, and sports. Occasionally, family woes. So, all I can say to that is a little Los Angeles Love goes along way. Along with some fun and being in the rage it looks as if Jezebel, which I normally regard as fairly cool and a women-centric publication decided to go loopy and all crazy like with this article and then this douzy talking just how torturic the wedding business *cough*monopoly*hack* truly is.

Now, I have been really good about keeping my wedding planning predominantly to myself for two reasons. 1. I like surprises, and figure that my guests will as well. 2. I don’t think people care. That’s right folks, I know that some people read this blog and some don’t…but no one wants to read about a tom-boy turned girlie-girl blather on about dresses, flowers, centerpieces, linens, and what not. What gets me the most however, is the truly audacious nature that the articles tend to go after the wedding racket and not see the forest for the trees. Perhaps, let me explain.

My sister did things her own way, and she wanted things traditional, homey, and family-oriented. Her reception was right down the street from my parents house, she got married in the church that we grew up in. I kind of wrinkled my nose at the idea of being married in a church anyway, and decided once I was engaged to go my own way. Do my own thing…to a certain extent.

Let it also be said, I’m very lucky. VERY is the affirmative word to this. VERY lucky that I have talented friends that will design and print my stationary for minimal cost. Centerpieces are going to be taken care of by a very talented family friend. I spend at least 20-30 minutes at OffBeat Bride and Indie Bride for a reason. I believe in what you’ve said. The wedding business is a racket. ESPECIALLY in New York where it’s a competition to be in the Times for your announcement. My in-laws actually said we should put our announcement in as part of the competition. How do you explain to people that I know you read the New York Times but you’re not in NY???

The point withstanding here is this: I walked away from the wedding racket for one reason…I wanted this to be a thought provoking fun adventurous party that people would walk in the room and say, “Wow this is M and P, this is so them.” I wanted people saying that the entire evening. And, they will. What disturbs me the most about these articles is that Jezebel is supposed to be inherently nurturing in the female persuasion. Female power and all. There’s no word of the thousands of us that abhor wedding “events” and walk away from “tradition” and “etiquette” in lieu of buying local, doing it ourselves, and making things truly unique. You’re not going to find that great local artist to do your veil and one of your “events” Jezebel. You’re going to find it on Etsy, and through word of mouth. That’s what Ariel’s Wedding Porn is all about.

I disagree with you Jezebel. Those of us out there that are throwing weddings, is it really about the money? No. In the end if there was a way to get our entire family and friends together in one place for one reason, we’d be all for it. This is about us, not about wedding “expos” here in the DC areas, they make me wanna vomit to be honest. I was dragged forcibly, kicking and screaming (which on crutches is hysterical btw), to one just to “get ideas” and wanted to take a gun to my head.

Those of us that haven’t had our weddings planned since we were six have walked away from the common establishment. We have driven the stake (or the proverbial crutch in my case) in the ground and said no, we’re not going to have it. We’re throwing a kick-ass party and calling it a day. The people that love us and love that we’re together are going to be there screaming “ROCK ON!” when my physicist fiancee comes out to “Pretty Fly for a White Guy”. More importantly, we’re skimping, scrapping, eating PB&J everyday to make it possible and not be a burden to anyone.

It’s a shame you’ve fallen into the trap of believing in the establishment we all can’t stand.

P.S. I’m going to send this to the author at:

You should do the same.


Something’s going to happen ~ Chances are 50/50 they’re going to be pretty good…

May 4, 2009

“and I’m willing to take that risk.”

I’ve got to tell you, for someone that has been dealing with a disorder for longer than the other part of her life, I saw Michael J Fox on Actor’s Studio tonight.

He brought me to tears. He deals with the pain with a seemingly relative ease. States that it’s terribly painful, but moves on. Moves up, gets past it. There is something so wildly refreshing from that. I have always felt to a certain extent that when people would tell me, “Oh you’re so strong.” I would like laugh it off. I guess now I need to start saying thank you. It was one of those things that you just do.
What are you going to do?
With any disorder that you have to deal with, it’s one of those things…it’s hard to say…harder even to explain.
No one tells you “Oh you’re going to die.” No one tells you how or what to do next. You go to school, and people try and extract you out and holler at you, and all you can do..honestly, is just go on. Fight.Fight really really hard. Everything becomes very aggressive and it becomes a “Screw you” or get screwed type of persona. I think to a certain extent that’s why I become so aggressive towards things.

I am firmly convinced that is why I’m with my bf to this day. I was aggressive towards how I felt for him for one reason and one reason only.

I knew in my heart that if I didn’t tell him how I felt I would never forgive myself. I would eternally hurt in my heart if I didn’t let him know that my heart yearned for him.

It’ll be 5 years on Saturday.

My heart still hurts every time he parts from my company.

The Holiday Weekend Revisited ~ The Art of the LDR Continued

December 1, 2008

As my exhaustive weekend in points west finished up, I must admit that certain realizations allowed me to continue on with my thoughts about how long distance relationships need so much work.

I spent the last couple days with the bf’s family. Who I’m rather used to. Although his father and sister have a tendency just not to think…they sometimes say rather mean things. Meanwhile, it wasn’t so bad. I thought it was weird that his sister didn’t stay at home with her parents but I started wondering if it was because of her dog. Their parents aren’t too keen on animals, so they said that they wouldn’t allow her to have the dog at their house.

Go figure hm?

I find myself getting sad and depressing when I came home. It’s depressing to come back to a place where he’s not at. It was hard this weekend, because I felt the need to share him. It’s hard for me being so far away from him to have to share him. We couldn’t be intimate at all, because we felt like we couldn’t avoid his family. His father says the same thing over and over, and it’s hard because they felt like it was really awkward with me there.

I hate that. I tried really hard when this relationship went long distance to not change the relationship. I didn’t change how I felt about him, he didn’t about me, and it was that we talked everyday, and we talked more and more about what we were going to do with our future, and not necessarily about our families.

Speaking of which, I worry that my family didn’t have a great respective thanksgiving. My aunt, one of the most special people in my life has had a bad diagnosis, so I worry how she’s dealing with that. My bil just recently lost his sister in a violent manner, I worry that his family made this holiday less than festive. My sis has never been all that vocal in how his family treats her, but I know that it’s not as great as it should be. I guess that’s how in-laws are though.

So, the bf family is still awkward, but we did okay and we saw both Twilight and Quantum of Solace. There’s a whole other plot line, but I must admit that the thought of the Bond series ending did come to my mind. It was so good to see my bf. It was nice after 3 weeks, that we’re now feeling like we’re almost going to be seeing each other too much, I’ll be back there in 2 weeks, and then he’ll be back here for 2 weeks for Christmas.

This time of year is so boisterous and scary and busy. I hope everyone else is just as busy as me!

The Art of the LDR

November 26, 2008

Yes folks, the art of the long distance relationship is a difficult one. You end up getting frustrated with yourself, your partner, with everything else.

It’s been about 4 months out of 24, at the least. He deals with things in his typical way, he ignores it till it arrives. Money situations of course rise, and he doesn’t understand that I still find this to be a partnership. I would hope to a certain extent that he thinks the same thing.

So, I decided that I would throw a list together of my complications that I’ve run into, with the thought that if the few readers that I have would read would figure it out.

1. Remember that nothing has changed, despite what you think even though you aren’t there. Your instincts are typically always right.
2. Communication is key. Because you don’t have the benefit of the body language to work off of, it’s hard to be able to distinguish what he’s feeling or thinking. Talk, even if he won’t. Just keep talking. At some point the threshold gets hit, and he will start talking. It has been a lot of “what do you think dear?” That has helped us.
3. Your everyday is no longer exciting. Yes, that’s right. Although your sig other wants to hear about your life, you have got to admit that the everyday isn’t as thrilling as it used to be.
4. Work has and always will be work. People deal with things differently, and more often than not men don’t really care that your boss offended you yesterday. Women tend to be far more emotional and thereby the day to day is a bit more for lack of a better way of putting it dramatic.
5. Concern becomes very real. Especially for men that are often not quick to talk, if concern shows up, take it for what it is.

That’s my top 5 ladies and gents. I will continue the list in future posts, got any ideas for me?

The Internet, Life, and some tidbits

May 27, 2008

You know, when I first got on the internet in 1994, I got on a program called ircII. It was old, easy to work, and it was somewhere that I didn’t have to worry with the fact that I hardly had any friends my first semester of college.  My 2nd semester, I was assaulted at school, and realized quickly that meeting men on the internet was probably not the brightest thing in the world that I did.

I met quite a few wonderful people that to this day I still talk to on IRC.  They aren’t bad people, but I think we all had our separate reasons that brought us to IRC, and we all had our separate reasons as to why we left. I don’t remember what Craig, Steve and Ann, or Hinson are doing right now, but I truly hope that they are wonderful. I hope Steve and Ann are still together with children. It’s hard to say. I used to hang out with a bunch of people off a channel called #altmusic, and we got together every Christmas for the national tree lighting.  The last time I went was in 2004, I had first started dating the bf, and I just wasn’t interested in being bitter, cynical, and angry anymore. It wasn’t something that I needed to do.

Fast forward to right before graduate work. I had been working for a woman that wasn’t a nice woman. I’ll admit that right off that we weren’t a good match. She needed someone subservient, and that wasn’t and still isn’t me. I’m not sad that she’s left the university.   I needed a release because my girlfriends from work had gone home to England and Ireland respectively, and I wasn’t a full time graduate student yet, so I couldn’t necessarily come and go as I pleased. I turned to another social networking group, that was more about writing and learning and living with people that actually were pretty good.

I’ve been doing that now for a little less than two years, and although I have moved most of my stuff over here to wordpress, I must admit that it’s hard not to allow yourself to get absorbed in the drama. It was as if the program was a release for people like me that were going through major changes in their lives, and didn’t quite know what to do except write it all down.

I need a break.  It’s hard not to get sucked into people’s dramas. People’s lives. I’m such a sensitive person, that sometimes if you catch me on a bad mood, PMSy or not, I will get upset. I will say mean hurtful things.

I know I’m not that person.

I know that I’m person that will live outside the life that she has in front of her. Regardless of the fact that my lab isn’t the easiest place in the world to be. Regardless of things changing so much. I need a break from the life on the internet.  It’s almost too much for me.

Back to reality a little bit, the bf graduated and is officially a doctor.


I know I should be happy…

February 4, 2008

But dammit, I’m not. I’m happy my bf got an interview. I’m not happy that it’s in Chicago. Over Valentine’s Day. We don’t ever do a DAMN THING except over Valentine’s Day. I know it’s on a weekday this year, I know that I’m happy he got an interview, and I know that I’m happy he’s doing something…

…but dammit. Dammit!!! Why Valentine’s Day???????

I’m sad.  I was going to plan something huge. Oh well.  It’s now ruined. Now he’s thinking that he will even plan it so that he can hit two schools at once.   So, I might not even get to celebrate until afterwards. It’s like it’s not even worth it. *pout*pout*