Posts Tagged ‘NaBloPoMo’

The Art of the LDR

November 26, 2008

Yes folks, the art of the long distance relationship is a difficult one. You end up getting frustrated with yourself, your partner, with everything else.

It’s been about 4 months out of 24, at the least. He deals with things in his typical way, he ignores it till it arrives. Money situations of course rise, and he doesn’t understand that I still find this to be a partnership. I would hope to a certain extent that he thinks the same thing.

So, I decided that I would throw a list together of my complications that I’ve run into, with the thought that if the few readers that I have would read would figure it out.

1. Remember that nothing has changed, despite what you think even though you aren’t there. Your instincts are typically always right.
2. Communication is key. Because you don’t have the benefit of the body language to work off of, it’s hard to be able to distinguish what he’s feeling or thinking. Talk, even if he won’t. Just keep talking. At some point the threshold gets hit, and he will start talking. It has been a lot of “what do you think dear?” That has helped us.
3. Your everyday is no longer exciting. Yes, that’s right. Although your sig other wants to hear about your life, you have got to admit that the everyday isn’t as thrilling as it used to be.
4. Work has and always will be work. People deal with things differently, and more often than not men don’t really care that your boss offended you yesterday. Women tend to be far more emotional and thereby the day to day is a bit more for lack of a better way of putting it dramatic.
5. Concern becomes very real. Especially for men that are often not quick to talk, if concern shows up, take it for what it is.

That’s my top 5 ladies and gents. I will continue the list in future posts, got any ideas for me?

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For Typ0…filler as you would say.

November 25, 2008

My apologizes for not posting last night. This talk has got me frazzled. I have been studying and working and now all I want to do is sleep. But alas, work isn’t done for the weary. I have a real post planned for this evening, so stay tuned, but till then…typ0 gave me a meme, so here goes. Go check out her blog, she’s on my blogroll!!

1. Where is your cell phone? jacket

2. Where is your significant other? Chicago. 😦

3. Your hair color? Brown

4. Your mother? hopefully sleeping

5. Your father? Hunting

6. Your favorite thing? You mean other than sleep?

7. Your dream last night? Don’t dream

8. Your dream/goal? Forensic Science

9. The room you’re in? Lab

10. Your hobby? the internet

11. Your fear? too many to count

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? with my bf

13. Where were you last night? in my room studying and not feeling well

14. What you’re not? anywhere close to being finished with this doctorate

15. One of your wish-list items? new cargos

16. Where you grew up? Maryland!

17. The last thing you did? drive to school

18. What are you wearing? Naval academy sweats

19. Your TV? Sony I think…

20. Your pet? my bf 🙂

21. Your computer? I wish I had a mac! Gateway

22. Your mood? Sleepy

23. Missing someone? Always

24. Your car? Cavalier, my babe 🙂

25. Something you’re not wearing? makeup

26. Favorite store? PacSun

27. Your summer? Busy

28. Love someone? Yes

29. Your favorite color? Pink

30. When is the last time you laughed? Yesterday

31. Last time you cried? this weekend

To the elusive tag…here goes nothing:
Gotta go with Kara from You Can’t Reason With Crazy because she’s my sis, and that’s how it goes…

Definitely hittin’ up my Hair Metal Queen at Hair Metal Queen.

Perhaps Pandemonic, who probably thinks I’ve forgotten about her, even though I haven’t…Pandemonic’s Time and Space.

Of course, J over at Are you there Blog? It’s Me Margaret, not I’m lying, it’s Jackie is just beggin’ for filler I just know it.

Last but not least, perhaps Geekhiker over at The (Single) Geekhiker will appease a young woman that didn’t mean to offend him and is afraid she did.

That’s all folks, till later.

All Things Twilight

November 23, 2008
Photo curious of filmrenegade.com

Photo curious of filmrenegade.com

Okay, it’s got to be said.

I adored this movie.

In an effort to not give anything away, I have got to go through the talk I had with my sister, who although only 2 years older than I…hated the movie. I think to a certain extent you must realize the difference between her and I.

1. She’s got kids. I don’t.
2. She’s a mom, (see number 1) and thereby sees things differently.
3. She’s EXTREMELY practical.
4. Me being the more enthusiastic very dramatic one, took to this completely.

A couple critiques.
1. My sis was right in a sense that the makeup, especially on the older Cullens (Rosalie, Carlisle, Esme) was overdone to say the least. It needed to be toned down. Elizabeth Reaser was a horrific choice to play Esme. Her hair looked fake, her makeup made her face look fake, it was annoying.
2. I was a bit taken aback when I found out that they were going to cast Peter Facinelli (of Fastlane fame) was cast as Carlisle. He didn’t seem old enough, so they either hired actors to play the younger ones that were way too old, or he was just a smidge too young.
3. Victoria sucked. The woman that played her sucked. They BUTCHERED this character in the screenplay, and shame on Melissa Rosenberg for doing it. Now, what the worst part of it is that she’s likely to win some random award for it.
4. You know they have marketed this as the next Harry Potter series, given the clothing, bedding, art, and everything else that has been marketed. Twilight Saga has done their best for that, of which to a certain extent I am grateful. However, given that, it’s one of those things that I start to think ahead and go….New Moon will NOT make as much money. No one liked the book, why even bother?

On a side note a couple good things:
1. Robert Pattinson (of Harry Potter fame) was an extremely good pick for Edward, although I wasn’t too keep on Kristen Stewart (she was in Jumper) as Bella. She kind of made me ill. Billy Burke played a great role as Charlie, Bella’s father, and Taylor Lautner looks to have a good reprise as Jacob Black if New Moon does get released. Here’s the thing though, I think Kristen Stewart is probably the one actress in the entire movie who I don’t believe will be able to find a job after these movies. On the crest of her 18th birthday, not unlike Daniel Radcliffe, she may have stopped before she even began.

2. This movie did stay true to the story. It was the Mormon appearance of love, passion, and romance. That it’s not about dating but it’s immediately I love you, I trust you completely, I will die for you. I hate to disappoint those tweens that might stumble onto this…but that ain’t how life is.

All in all, I was extremely happy to see the movie, will go and see it next weekend with the bf. I’m excited for the bf visit and thanksgiving, I just wish that I didn’t have so much work ahead of me!!!

Angry, Aggravated, and Annoyed

November 19, 2008

The three A’s.

Good things:
I spent time with the nephews tonight.
Crazy maniacs.
I feel for the eldest, because he’s having problems with a little boy at school.
Kids can just be mean sometimes.
The boys were pouty, and argumentative, but otherwise…

…wonderful.

Bad things:
I’m overwhelmed.
Tired.
Sad.
Angry at the bf.
I’m going to bed, with the hopes that I will end up in the lab at 7am.

Sorry for not much of a post tonight. I’m tired, don’t know what else to say.

Missin’ my boys…

November 18, 2008

You know, when I found myself in a situation where my bf is now in the midwest, it has left me without my boys, without my boy, and now without a true sense of self.

It’s interesting. It’s been 16 years since I’ve been on crutches. It’s been frustrating that I can’t do an enormous amount by myself, but I have tried since day one to be fairly independent. But, I must admit in my continuous dealings with men, I’ve been trying my best to make sure that I figure out a few things. For years and years, I realized that the men in my life that would come and go…

…it was because of my birth defect and me being on crutches. I was CONVINCED. My first LDR (long distance relationship) and yes I know he reads this, I was CONVINCED it was me, my crutches, and the fact that I was younger than him that did me in. I now realize that wasn’t the truth, but for the life of me after not talking to him for over 11 years, I don’t quite know where to start.

Then, sigh…. I knew the guy that I fell for from TX it was definitely the crutches. Find out later, and I quote, I didn’t “put out”. Ah, men, you make me crazy. It’s an interesting situation though. I have been watching the The Pickup Artist. Now, I must admit that Mystery is a real hottie….but I watch it more for the social dynamic experiment that it really is. I went to a Halloween party this year, the first one without the bf, and low and behold, I totally got hit on! Way fun if you ask me, but it was more that I was talking to a woman that I hung out with she said to me, “You know it’s funny, I’ve been with Ryan so long, that the whole dating thing I’m just lost.” I got to say…after watching Mystery and his wings…

It made sense. Like a lot of sense. You stick with your friends.
It’s about confidence.
Independence.
Self worth.
Having worth in other people.

I was kind of impressed. It made me miss the boys I used to hang with in college. Not that they were wonderful, I mean we fell out of contact…but Steve, Hinson, they were good people. It made me feel like I was a good person. And, you know it’s odd. I am around men in my life a lot. It hasn’t been the same though. The comfort is lost. It’s not about quick flirting and friendliness. The joking, the teasing, it’s somehow gone just like my 20s are gone.

I can’t say I want to deal with the trauma that I often caused myself in that time, and I do try my best to be as independent and confident as I can, but when you run into not being confident, you want your boys with you to be there for you to tell you that you’re a dumbass. It makes me sad.

It’s odd too. Work’s good, families good, I just wish I was good.

It Never Gets Easier…

November 10, 2008

After a wonderful weekend, I’ve dropped the bf off at the airport…and I’m left with a new feeling of sadness. It just doesn’t get easier, I don’t quite understand why I would ever think that it would. It’s been rough. I get to the point that I know that I’m working, and I know that I’m busy, but it’s just not the same.

I know he’s gone. I know for whatever reason, whatever god you decide to worship has decided to throw him into the midwest, and leave me here. It makes me think of that new song “Come on Get Higher” it just makes me sad, I get sad, and then I cry, and then I cry some more, than I wake up like it’s all over. I act like for some reason it’s okay. It’s not.

This isn’t any easier than it was when he moved in August. I mean, it’s November. It’s been 3 months out of 24. At the least. That somehow it’s something that I’m supposed to be okay about.

Yes, Yes: Two Post Day

November 7, 2008

A bad foot day sprung upon me yesterday, and due to that, you will receive a grand total of two posts today due to my ever changing need to appeal to my slim or not reading audience. The UMBC Doctoral Recognition Ceremony was last night and I acted as paparazzi for the group. Let me tell you, it’s so interesting when you look at other cultures, as to why this stuff is only important to us americante’s.  This ceremony was predominantly a pat on the back to those in the department that had made the step from being the pre-doctoral to doctoral candidate.  It’s a test that needs to be taken. I’ll admit that I’ve taken it, and need to complete a few re-writes so that my conditional pass will become a full pass.

Bummer I know.

I had this whole idea last night, and in true mel fashion what did I do? You guessed it, fell asleep after eating a salad dinner. At least I’m losing weight due to my lack of finances, I guess that’s better than the gym. (I’m kidding, honest.)  I haven’t actually cooked a meal at my house this week, and I have a feeling that the trend will continue as my boyfriend will be in town this weekend.  The more and more I spend time without him, the more and more I realize that we might actually be able to pull this off. We had it out the other night because he didn’t remember that I was going to be in the paper (see my 30 Daze entry) because he had more “important” things on his mind.

I gotta say men amuse the living crap out of me sometimes. I’ve always been amused, my poor bf, his explanation is:

“Well I don’t keep track of your schedule.”

I had only talked about the situation since the reporter got a hold of me.  I said to him, “Look, I am not interested in theoretical physics, and I ask constantly about it. I hate ultimate frisbee, and I hang with those guys and go watch you play, I hate board gaming, ask about it all the time. I don’t ask you to be interested in chemistry, to be interested in law, forensics, I don’t really care if you don’t like any of that. I had been talking about being in the paper for a WEEK. It’s coming out on election day, I asked you to pay attention to ONE thing.”

He held firm till the next day. I said, “Well, at least you realized for ONCE you were wrong.”

It’s amazing that there are times that I think that we’re not going to make it through this long distance thing. That I’m ready to kill him because I just can’t take his laissez-faire attitude about my life and his existence in it. To him, he’s not involved with me during the week. Yet he calls EVERY day, and we talk a lot.  He doesn’t understand why I don’t feel the same way.  I don’t get it.

Meanwhile, on the family front:

Ma’s feeling better, thankfully she’s starting to emerge back into her old self. We talked briefly about it and she said that she just didn’t want me to see her in such pain. I was like “Ma, it would have been like the Terms of Endearment moment” she started laughing. I sware, I think that there are times that my family (yes K, sorry you’re included in this) truly underestimate what I can do domestically. I am so willing to step in because I want to make sure that they realize that I’m a firm part of this family and I will be there. Regardless.  I am doing my best to watch over my sis while still taking as good a care of myself as I can.

I need to send the word out that I need christmas lists early this year. *sigh* I think that’s the only way I’m going to get it all done.

Work continues to be…work.

I’ll be scribbling later my post that I meant to write last night.

Post Election Day Bliss

November 6, 2008

Yes folks, FINALLY…the election is over. I, your apathetic observer, has got to admit that it’s just about time. I’m tired of the bs back and forth, tired of the talking points, and I know it’s hard to believe, tired of Sarah Palin. Trig, John, and Bristol too. And all their other children.  I’m typically a fairly conservative type, just largely based on the fact that I’ve been broke so long that I’m not used to charity.  So, cool…first African American president. That’s also awesome.

I guess it’s the excitement that I felt with Clinton. I just couldn’t get into it this time. Not for the life of me. Because if you think about it, I have my bf on one side. The die hard democrat. Then, my parents, my boss, and my sister on the other end, the die hard conservatives.  It makes you wonder why and how people got so excited. Me?

I’m just trying to get by. I’m trying just to get up in the morning and make sure that I get to work, my house looks okay, I look okay.

How people have the excitement, I don’t get it. I’m happy the election is over. I’m amazed at the ludicris and the idiocracy that this state of Maryland for voting for slots. I hate it. What a dumb vote. No one realized what it was really about.  No one quite understood the fact that it went into the constitution of the state. It was dumb. I’m disappointed Maryland! Disappointed!

30 Daze

November 4, 2008

Special thanks to Andy Ratner for his help on this, and special thanks to him for allowing me to re-print it on my blog.

For you, today’s Election Day.

For Gavin St. Ours, a Web designer and video producer who lives in the city’s Mount Vernon, and tens of thousands like him across the country, it’s also Day 4 of NaNoWriMo.

And possibly NaPoPoMo.

And NaBloPoMo.

And NaKniSweMo.

And probably some other ‘Mo we’re unaware of.

It sounds like gibberish, but they’re abbreviations for National Novel Writing Month. And National Podcast Posting Month. And National Blog Posting Month. And National Knit a Sweater Month.

They all pose the same challenge to anyone who’s interested: Do the activity every day in November: Complete a novel. Make a daily podcast. Blog every day. Or knit a sweater.

And at the end of the month, you may have something impressive to show for your efforts. You’ll probably enhance your skills in whatever venture you choose. You might find a peaceful distraction after a month of unnerving economic and political headlines. And you might learn something about yourself in the process, about your ability to conquer a goal you didn’t think possible.

The novel-writing contest – maybe more a conquest, with no prize involved – began in 1999. A small group of San Franciscans were looking to blow off some steam just as the Internet companies where some of them hoped to get rich in Silicon Valley began to implode. By the second year, they added a Web site and the challenge of writing a 50,000-word novel began to swell. Spread the next year by something new on the scene – word-of-blog – it mushroomed even more. The crush of budding novelists overloaded the computer server for nanowrimo.org on the eve of the event Friday.

Last year, more than 100,000 people around the world signed up, including students at more than 360 elementary and secondary schools. More than 15,300 completed their novels. Several went on to be published, including Flying Changes by Sarah Gruen, which became a New York Times best-seller.

But quantity, not quality, is the stated goal; merely attempting to write six pages a day is a haul. The Web site counts your words in the end, although no one has to read what you’ve written. The organizers say novel-writing is typically a “one day” event, as in “One day, I’d like to write a novel.” The contest aims to kick-start the dream for many.

St. Ours, 28, has attempted the novel-writing challenge six times and achieved the goal twice. This month, he plans to try both the novel-writing and the podcasting. He figures he’ll have to carve out about two hours a day to write 1,600 words and produce a five-minute podcast to reach the summit of his creative Everest.

Some years, he plans out what he wants to write. In others, the characters just sort of take over, “sleeping with each other, killing each other” and other things he hadn’t imagined, possibly due to “sleep depravation or being over-caffeinated.”

“One of the greatest gifts you can give to someone doing National Novel Writing Month is a Starbucks gift card,” he said. With the help of networking sites like Twitter and Facebook, the effort has grown into a social phenomenon, with groups meeting for novel-crafting sessions at coffee shops and cafes.

“I was trying to explain it to a friend who is a writer and who didn’t understand why a sane person would do this,” he said. But through groups online, he’s found kindred souls. Some of the local Twitter users met at a “tweet up” at Holy Frijoles in Hampden a few weeks ago, and he just returned from “podcamp,” a podcasters’ workshop in Montreal.

“You’re in a room full of people who just get what this thing is,” said St. Ours, who studied broadcast journalism and English at Salisbury University. “All the technology sort of brings people out of their homes, these people who have these common interests who otherwise might be sequestered at home.

“Really busy people actually seem to have a lot of luck in the novel-writing month, they’re better at scheduling their time. I know people who haven’t had jobs who haven’t been able to finish. Being too busy isn’t any excuse. People start going back and forth online, ‘You think you’re busy, I’m raising three kids and have a job …'”

Apparently not lacking for energy himself, St. Ours already produces Charm City Podcast (charmcitypodcast.com). It’s entertaining, free form and a bit goofy, reminiscent of the “Wayne’s World” skit Dana Carvey and Mike Myers made so popular.

For NaPoPoMo – National Podcast Post Month – he plans to do two others: One, putitinyourears.com, will be done with a New York friend, Rob Blatt, and will document a month’s worth of manic creative output (“Bite-sized stupid,” he calls it); the other is the.gavinshow.com, in which he’ll describe his novel-writing experience – a case of podcast imitating life imitating art.

The novel-writing, blogging and podcasting quests are somewhat the digital-era equivalent of seeing how many high-schoolers could stuff themselves into a phone booth 50 years ago. But the month-long exercises point up something often overlooked about computing and telecommunications: For all the hand-wringing over the gobs of time that young people spend on the Web, cell phones and the like, young people have never before spent so much creative effort communicating through words and pictures.

Melinda Wilson, 32, plans to blog every day this month. Last year, she completed NaBloPoMo as well as organizing a group of more than a dozen other Maryland bloggers who took part.

Like millions of other Web journals, her blog – cripkitty.wordpress.com – is very personal, a work primarily of introspection not intended for a huge audience. It attracts maybe a dozen or two dozen viewers a day, although that number tripled after NaBloPoMo last year. Because she was blogging more often, she was touching on a wider range of topics and getting linked to other blogs more often.

“You give up TV and walk away from a little bit of laziness to do something you inevitably enjoy,” Wilson, a forensic toxicology graduate student at the University of Maryland, Baltimore, said about this month’s blog contest.

“You end up writing about the everyday … about my nephews, what happened at work today. You get a real look into people’s lives, and that to people is very intriguing.”

St. Ours said he does not plan to take part in the blogging, though.

“There’s crazy,” he said, “and then there’s craa-zy.”

Tales of a Wannabe Graduate School Dropout ~ Money’s tight…

November 3, 2008

I can’t tell you how many times I have been sitting in front of a computer going, “I need a bit more fun in my life.”  Yet, I sit down and do…nothing.  I think to a certain extent I sit and do nothing because I spend my days doing so much, that now I’m just letting my laziness take over. I did a bit of a puzzle today, and of course I wonder at times why the bf doesn’t care when I’m not there than I finally got it.

I’m not there.  It’s not a huge deal to him, because he subconsciously cares and loves me whether I’m there or not.  He doesn’t understand what his sheer presence does to me.  Then again, I sit sometimes and think…why doesn’t he tell me what he’s thinking? He says that he’s very self inspective, and I almost laughed at him. I figure out of anyone, he would talk to me first right? That anyone that he would be willing to let in, it’d be me?

I worry that he hasn’t.  He has been cooking more, been going out more, and I know already I can’t afford to go out there in December. He doesn’t want to have that conversation. When we have the conversation that he has to admit that he cares enough to make this relationship work.  That he makes the money to keep this relationship financially stable.  It hurts that he doesn’t see that.  He worries that I’m taking advantage, etc. It’s aggravating. I have friends that have dealt with the long distance thing, and everytime they never work. I want to be that 1%. I’m almost desperate to be that 1%.  Perhaps I’m totally wrong. I need to center in on myself, etc.  Perhaps this is more of an experiment for myself than for anyone else.

Perhaps this, graduate work, getting done alone, being there by myself is what will complete this entire experience and have it so that I will go back into the relationship full. It’s hard to say.